Well, much to my dismay, I visited a physchiatrist, and they said it was in my best interest to go back on medication. I sooo don't want to have to take medication to make me feel happy, it should come naturally. But, if it'll stop the pain, even a little, I figured I'd try it. Tonight will be my fourth night taking it. I don't feel much of a difference, but I'm not expecting one for a few weeks. I've noticed that I don't have that major feeling that I need to hurt myself. I mean, there are times when I want to, like majorly, but I don't have to. It's like when I quit smoking. It gradually got to where I wanted to smoke, which I still do, but I don't have to. It's a good feeling.

But the other day, I was fixing something of mine with a knife, because we have no scissors in the house that work on fabric, and I knicked my finger just a little. But, I didn't even feel it, yet it bled like crazy. It didn't hurt. I knew it should hurt. But it didn't. And it made me think about when I used to cut myself, and how I felt so much better then. I tried to cut my wrist, but I couldn't get myself to actually cut. Because I don't have to anymore. I like that feeling.